Are you still doing that thing? (And Miranda July fan-girling)
Last summer I read All Fours, Miranda July’s novel about a middle-aged woman actively pursuing her wants and needs. I loved it so much, it made me giddy. I couldn’t stop talking or thinking about it.
I deeply identified with the story of a woman feeling trapped in her current life and actively blowing it up. I also loved how flawed and weird and frankly fucked up the lead character was. I found her absolutely delightful.
It’s been interesting to see how polarizing the novel has been, though. Most people either love or hate it.
Just when I thought I couldn't love her more…
This summer, I’m having a similar love affair with Miranda July’s interview on the Modern Love podcast.
Probably what hit the hardest is when she talked about the overwhelming response to the book and how the press was talking about it. She bristled at the assumption that the success of her novel was a surprise to her, that she couldn’t possibly have masterminded something ambitious and political and deeply resonant.
She was just supposed to be shocked and grateful at her good fortune.
As Miranda July put it, this would never happen with a man because we like the idea that a man has an idea and works hard to accomplish something, but we don't like to think of women as "imagining something of scope."
Photo credit: Interview magazine
People say screwed up things
Her comments made me think about how often I hear this same dismissive attitude toward women's work—including my own. Not infrequently, someone will say to me, “Are you still doing that graphic design thing?”
It’s hard not to be defensive and respond, “Oh—you mean my 25-year career? That graphic design thing?”
And then a couple months ago, a dude literally said to me, “How’s your little business going?”
Little. Business.
I’m genuinely curious if people ever say stuff like that to men.
I notice this happening to women all the time. Our work gets diminished. Our success gets attributed to luck rather than strategy. Our businesses get called "little" even when they're thriving.
Is “ambitious” too much or just right?
Sometimes it feels like we're not supposed to be too ambitious. Or too proud of what we've built. Maybe we're supposed to downplay our success to make other people feel comfortable.
I redesigned my website at the end of 2023 and I added this line to my homepage: “Elevated branding and web design for ambitious women.”
I knew I only wanted to work with women who were really serious about building their businesses, but I also knew the word "ambitious" was loaded. When I floated it past friends, I got mixed reactions. Some loved it. Others worried it sounded too aggressive, too much. They didn’t identify with it.
I decided to keep it and now I don’t feel any ambivalence about the word. To me, “ambitious” is about power and intention and taking up space—all the things I want for myself and my clients.
Let's take up S P A C E !
And that’s what’s so exciting about Miranda July. She absolutely knew what she was doing when she wrote and published All Fours. She was angry, had something to say, and created something huge. On purpose.
So yeah—I’m still doing the graphic design thing. My little business that I built myself is thriving. And I’m out here proudly creating intentional brands for women who want to play big and own their expertise.
And ooh it feels good!
Goodies Just For You
WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT: This conversation between Peter Attia (the longevity doctor) and Dr. Rachel Rubin—a urologist who specializes in women's sexual health—is the most thoughtful, in-depth discussion I've heard about menopause and women's healthcare. Dr. Rubin describes urology as the "medical side of quality of life issues," so it makes sense that she'd have something to say about how neglected sexual medicine is for women in traditional healthcare. I've been sending this to all my friends!
WHAT I'M BAKING: Ambitious Kitchen's Flourless Peanut Button Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies. These are more delicious than gluten-free cookies have any reason to be. And the texture is good too—like a REAL cookie, not a healthy cookie.
WHO I'M ADMIRING: Benedicte Lassalle is a talented lifestyle and architecture photographer. She also sells GORGEOUS downloadable images to print yourself. If you've ever Zoomed with me, you've seen one of her beautiful photos on the wall behind me. She's interested in getting into more landscape architecture photography, so if you know any landscape architects, let's make something happen!
