LinkedIn and Dating. What?!
"LinkedIn?! The weird boring place where I've had my resume parked for years, for no obvious reason?!"
That was my response 18 months ago when women kept telling me how much they loved LinkedIn and how valuable it had been for their businesses.
I was confused, but last January I decided to stick a toe in and try it out.
I had about 300 followers and no idea what to write about. I did the obligatory "I'm thrilled to announce" posts and other robotic stuff in stiff, professional language.
When I tried one post with more casual language, a friend with more corporate LinkedIn experience advised me to tone it down.
But I quickly realized I could only enjoy it if I was more myself. So I got looser and started having more fun.
I snapped this photo right after I received a SENIOR DISCOUNT. Then I used the experience for one of my most popular LinkedIn posts.
What happened next?
✨ 9 new clients found me
✨ My follower count grew to 3000
✨ I met two photographers who I collaborated with on branding projects
✨ I've made real friendships that I've taken offline
💃🏻 Most importantly, I connected with a kickass community of women entrepreneurs
So what’s the secret to posting consistently and getting good engagement?
LinkedIn sometimes reminds me of online dating.
Bear with me here... Last summer I started noticing how much LinkedIn was reminding me of online dating.
When my marriage ended in 2019, I ventured, for the first time, into the world of dating apps.
I’d never dated in the wild before. I’d met my husband and all my previous boyfriends in the very controlled environments of college and high school. Dating was terrifying, but I figured out how to make it work for me.
But WHY does LinkedIn remind me of dating? Both are similarly cringe and challenging, and I've noticed that some of the strategies helping me engage with LinkedIn regularly are actually lessons I learned while dating.
So when people ask me for advice about engaging regularly on LinkedIn, I think it's easiest to frame it in terms of dating advice.
You didn’t think you’d get dating tips here, did you?!
→ It's a numbers game: When dating, I realized it was easier to keep my morale up when I had multiple dates lined up. If one wasn't great, it was fine because I had another already scheduled. The same applies to content creation. Write several posts at once and schedule them ahead of time.
→ Be yourself: I know, I know—it's the most tired advice in the book. You want me to STFU already. But it's true for both dating and LinkedIn! Just like you want to attract someone who likes the real you (not some polished version), the more authentic you are on LinkedIn, the easier it is for people to connect with you. Plus, you'll stand out from the dry, AI-generated content that's flooding the platform right now.
→ Don't get too precious: Just like you shouldn't make any one date too important, don't agonize over every word in your posts. Not all of your content will resonate or get a big response. If one post falls flat, it's okay—you have another in the pipeline.
→ Have fun with it: This is crucial for both dating and posting. Not every date will be a love connection, but it can still be enjoyable. Similarly, if you're sharing content that matters to you, it's rewarding regardless of the response.
→ Show up consistently: In dating, you can't just create a profile and expect results. You need to actually show up, respond to messages, and go on dates. Same with LinkedIn. Treat creating content like client work and make it non-negotiable. You wouldn't skip delivering work for a client, so don't skip showing up for your own business.
→ The selfie struggle is real: Both dating apps and LinkedIn favor photos (LinkedIn especially loves selfies), but sharing pictures of myself has always felt cringe (I'm working on it!).
The bottom line
It turns out LinkedIn isn't so weird and boring after all. Well, maybe it is a little weird sometimes. But in a good way.
What about you? Have you had success on LinkedIn? Or are you still thinking it's the "weird boring place" I once thought it was?
Goodies Just For You
WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT: My son and I have been watching the excellent FX/Hulu series Snowfall. How has no one been talking about this show?! I think it premiered in 2017. It's about the beginning of the crack epidemic and the main protagonist is a charismatic Black kid in South Central LA. There are sub plots with Mexican families, Columbian cartels, and a scary Israeli drug lord. It’s also a nostalgic journey through 1980s LA and even weaves in the CIA’s shenanigans with the Contras. My kid and I are deeply attached to several of the characters and fully obsessed with the show. We've watched 3 seasons of 6 so far.
WHAT I'M BAKING: These healthy-ish treats don't actually require baking. They're originally from Alicia Silverstone's vegan cookbook and possibly the only thing I've made more than once out of that whole cookbook. She calls them Raw Balls, which is a horrible name. They're yummy little protein nut balls. I use cocoa powder, not carob powder. And I don't use quite as much maple syrup. They're plenty sweet.
WHO I'M ADMIRING: Kristine Krishnan of Resilient Coaching is a wonderful divorce and dating coach (I designed her website). She is an incredible listener and deeply empathetic. She's full of so much wisdom and has a ton of fantastic tools for navigating divorce and dating. She's in the Bay Area, but she runs ongoing virtual support groups: a dating support group and a divorce support group. She also hosts in-person events with other mental health professionals in the East Bay.
