From Flailing to Finding My Way
This is the time of year when everyone looks back at the past twelve months.
But as I close out my second full year of designing brands and websites exclusively for kickass women, I’m feeling unexpectedly nostalgic. So I’m looking back not one year, but twenty-six.
Not surprisingly, the path hasn’t been a straight line. It’s been messy, meandering, and full of false starts. But I’m feeling pretty good about where I am now.
The Early Years
1999: First job out of college as a junior designer/production artist at a print management house in SF. Thrilled with $15/hr… until I learned the dude next to me was making $20.
2000: Joined a truly batshit design studio. The founder kept her newborn in a bucket car seat under the desk. Yes, it was exactly as chaotic as you’re imagining.
2001: Quit the batshit job to “rest.”
The only photo I have of myself from that era that doesn’t include friends or family. But it feels right.
Flailing & Fucking Around
2001–2006: Accidentally entered my era of “flailing and fucking around.” Branding projects fell into my lap, but I said yes to everything. No control, no direction. Lots of feast or famine. It was… not great.
2006–2013: Landed my first big retainer with maternity brand Ingrid & Isabel. Then learned I was pregnant. Great for product testing, less great for sleep. They grew fast; I grew overwhelmed. Tried hiring help and discovered I hate managing people.
2013: Finally admitted that my husband’s career came first for him and I was drowning. I stepped back from my business to keep my sanity (and my family) intact.
My assistant wasn’t very helpful
Making Big Moves
2018: Realized I needed to get divorced. I had made $2,000 that year. It was terrifying, but I started rebuilding from scratch.
Jan 2019: Took a goal-setting workshop and set one of those “impossible” financial goals.
June 2019: Was making enough money that I felt brave enough to leave.
2020: Landed a fashion-brand retainer that carried me through my divorce and quarantine. Meanwhile, I let my entire network wither.
2021: Bought out my ex and refinanced my house. No co-signer. Felt like a baller.
2023: Retainer ended when the brand was sold. Thought I was done with project-based work… until I couldn’t land another retainer.
Photo from my 2019 website redesign. I also used it on my dating app profile. My boyfriend later informed me it gave “corporate” vibes. He doesn’t know.
Figuring It Out
Oct 2023: Joined Pia Silva’s No BS Agency Mastery program. Learned how to make project work actually work. Committed to exclusively serving women service providers.
2024–2025: Designed 30+ brands and websites for incredible women who inspire me daily. Started enjoying my work in a way I never thought possible.
My 2026 vibe.
The word “gratitude” is overused, but as I look back at the work I created this year — and the women I got to create it with — there’s no other word that captures it.
What a gift. What a joy. And what a wild, winding path it took to get here.
What about you? How’s the last year been? Or the last twenty-six? Hit reply. I’d love to hear about it.
Goodies Just For You
WHAT I’M THINKING ABOUT: Paul Thomas Anderson’s film One Battle After Another really is as good as everyone says. I saw it in the theater because I’d heard about its fantastic car chase scene, which did not disappoint. Teyana Taylor is a force of nature. And I loved the comedy of Benicio del Toro and Leo DiCaprio’s characters. I do wish Regina Hall had been given a little more to do, though. There’s been some interesting conversations online about whether the film exploits Black women as catalysts for a white male story. Maybe? I don't know. I’m glad people are having the conversation. But I just really appreciated it as great entertainment. I was nervous about the ridiculously long run time, but I enjoyed every minute. And I loved how big and sprawling it is.
WHAT I’M MAKING: We’ve entered cozy season, which means braised-meat season in my house. Alison Roman’s Tangy Braised Short Ribs is one of my absolute favorites for winter entertaining. It could not be easier to prepare, yet it feels fancy and special. I like making it the day before and heating it up for a dinner party. I always serve it with cheesy polenta. Ohmigosh it’s so good!
WHO I’M ADMIRING: As I'm closing out the year and feeling reflective, I’m feeling extra appreciative of local community builders who have become dear friends. Ariana Wolf and Luisa Alberto founded The Kindredly, a Bay Area entrepreneur community that has nourished me in countless ways these last couple of years. And then Rhiannon O’Leary, who has been hosting monthly women’s salons. All three of these women are incredible at creating warm, nurturing, invigorating spaces for connection and inspiration. My life is infinitely richer because of what they've created, and I'm so grateful.
